Attachment to Service or to the Self?
His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
[Addressing Kum Kum Devi Dasi:] I am sad because you have not come to India for so many years.
—It is true, it has been many years. I think eight years...
Do you still work to maintain the temple?
—Yes, still. It takes all my time...
It must be difficult for you... Why at this age is it necessary for you to work? I am thinking why cannot the devotees help you with the service of maintaining the temple? It is necessary to help you, otherwise for how many more years will you continue working?
Anyhow, you continue the programmes every Saturday, and I am very happy. This is our practice:
সাধুসঙ্গ, নামকীর্ত্তন, ভাগবতশ্রবণ ।
sadhu-sanga, nama-kirtana, bhagavata-sravana
One should associate with devotees, chant the Holy Name of the Lord, hear Srimad Bhagavatam, reside at Mathura and worship the Deity with faith and veneration.
Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 22.124
You are a simple-hearted devotee and you know the conception. In this world almost all of the devotees have so much deceitful devotion. Mahaprabhu told us to avoid it. It is not necessary to show your devotion to others. Always keep everything in your heart: na kara markat-vairagya loka dekhaya (না কর মর্কট-বৈরাগ্য লোক দেখায়), do not practise false, 'monkey', renunciation to impress others. Show to yourself that you are doing proper renunciation.
We say, "I am a devotee of Gurudev, I am a devotee of Gurudev," but we do not follow Gurudev's instruction. That is our main problem. They always say they are devotees of Gurudev, but actually they think about themselves, about their own interest, and eventually they become deha-rami (দেহারামী, devoted to enjoying the body).
You are an example for everybody—to this day you work so much. At this age you go outside to work to maintain your temple, to maintain the devotees, but all the devotees follow their mind and cannot tolerate even a little austerity...
They have no patience. They think, "I took initiation many years ago, but I am not getting the result," and they lose their patience. They have joined Krishna consciousness but do not know how to behave properly, how to practise properly—they do not know anything, but they always think about the result, always ask for the result. They want some relation, but actually they take from the devotees more than they give—they do not come to give to the devotees, they came to take. Such is this world, people always think about themselves. People do not serve properly—they come to use Gurudev, they do not come to surrender to Gurudev...
I am very sad about it, but what can I do? It is like that in this Age of Kali, but we must try to follow Gurudev's instruction, we must do some service for him. We need to fulfil his desire and think how to please him, not ourselves. In this way we must continue our practitioner's life. That is the main thing...
We always follow our mind, but the mind is always naughty, it takes us away from the service. Maya is very naughty too, she always surrounds us and always looks for a hole—as soon as she sees your weak point she can attack you. If we forget remembering Krishna even for a moment, if we keep even a little bit of a distance from the Lord, from Gurudev, Maya can attack you. Service attachment is necessary for service.
If you follow the rules and regulations properly, do what is favourable to devotion and do not do what is unfavourable to devotion, if you understand what you have joined the temple for, what you have come to Krishna consciousness for, and that this body is for service to the Lord, then service will not leave you.
We always hanker, always ask Gurudev for mercy, but what is mercy? Mercy means service: if you have service, you have mercy. Gurudev said, "No service, no mercy." We must always make ourselves busy with the service to the Guru—that is mercy.
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