(3/9) Servitor's Ambition

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Vyasa Puja Day, Tarakeswar, evening class
29 September 2019, part 3
Translated from Bengali

Gurudev expresses his wish and gives an order that you should do a particular service – it can be serving the Deities, giving class, worshipping the Deities, cooking, serving cows or anything else; if you can do the service you have been assigned to with sincerity and firm determination, then it is very good. It is very good if you feel taste for the service given to you by your guru.

I told you yesterday that many people are eager to become temple managers because they want to have more independence, they want to have money at their disposal. This is not good. One day, you come to your gurudev and take initiation, and after some years pass, you start thinking, 'Oh, I would like to give class, but first I need to study Sanskrit. I want to go to a Sanskrit school and study it properly.' It is not good to have such thoughts. If your guru wants you to give class, then you can get everything just by following his order. You do not need to do anything special – everything will come.

It is necessary to be peaceful and to have unswerving determination. If your thinking is not peaceful, steady and firm, if such quality has not come to you, then where is your qualification to be a temple manager? Your mood should be, 'Whether I am qualified or not, it does not matter: my guru has ordered me to do this service, so I will do it without a second thought.' If you think about whether or not you are qualified to do what you are told to do, then you will be in the wrong. Both being eager to do the service you are not given and not wanting to do the service you are given are wrong. Remember this.

Anugatya (chaste, submissive adherence) is the religion of Vaishnavs. Neither your guru nor Vaishnavs can be pleased with you if you do not have anugatya. It is necessary to be chaste to the order of your guru – whenever you are told to do something, you must do it joyfully without a second thought. This is the easiest path in spiritual life.

If you want to become a temple manager, and this desire keeps nagging you inside, then one day you will say, 'Oh, I have not been able to become the temple manager, so I am going back to my home.' If you have no faith, what is the use staying at the temple then? The main thing is anugatya. The first and foremost lesson you must learn when you come to stay at the temple is that you must follow the order of your guru without a second thought. If you can do that happily, then you will progress in your spiritual life. Still, if you cannot do happily what you are told to do and do it anyhow, forcing yourself to do it, it is still better than not doing it at all – you will still get some result.

Many think, 'Oh, I came to the temple a long time ago, but gurudev is not giving me sannyas. My life is a failure.' This is a big mistake and a very bad misconception. On the other hand, suppose your qualification is good and gurudev wants to give you sannyas, but you do not want to take it – giving sannyas forcefully creates disturbance. Becoming a sannyasi is not the ultimate purpose of coming to the temple. So, do not become depressed if you are not given sannyas. This is transgression of rights (anadhikara-charcha; অনাধিকার চর্চা; lit. 'unauthorised, incompetent interference'). First become 'saffron' inside, then you can be given sannyas (saffron clothes). But if gurudev wants to give you sannyas and you do not want to take it, this is anartha. Both wanting it and not wanting are anartha. Our mood should be, 'Whatever comes to me from my Lord, I will accept it.'

Personally, I have never in my life asked gurudev for anything. My mood has always been, 'You can give me whatever you want, I am not asking for anything.' I had this sloka hung on the wall in my previous room:

ন ধনং ন জনং ন সুন্দরীং কবিতাং বা জগদীশ কাময়ে ।
মম জন্মনি জন্মনীশ্বরে ভবতাদ্ভক্তিরহৈতুকী ত্বয়ি ॥

na dhanam na janam na sundarim kavitam va jagadisa kamaye
mama janmani janmanisvare bhavatad bhaktir ahaituki tvayi

'I do not want wealth, I do not want followers, I do not want beautiful women, I do not want to be a poet. I only want causeless devotion to Your lotus feet. Give me that kind of devotion to Your lotus feet so that I could serve You life after life.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.20.29)

Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur also prays:

ধন জন আর কবিতা সুন্দরী
বলিব না চাহি দেহ-সুখকরী ।
জন্মে জন্মে দাও ওহে গৌরহরি
অহৈতুকী ভক্তি চরণে তোমার ॥

dhana jana ara, kavita-sundari,
baliba na chahi deha-sukha-kari
janme janme dao, ohe gaurahari!
ahaituki bhakti charane tomara

'When will I say that I do not want any wealth, followers, poetic gift or any other bodily happiness? O Gaura Hari! Birth after birth, please give me unconditional devotion to Your holy feet!'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

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Length: 43 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Relentless Pursuit
2) Master's Ego vs Servant's Ego
3) Servitor's Ambition
4) Do Not Waste Time
5) 'I Am Sold to You'
6) Kirtan: Devotees' Heartbeat
7) Loving Search
8) Esoteric Sacrality of Sannyas
9) No Shortcuts