Setting on the Right Track (2)
His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
...In Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math there are many big buildings, there are Deities, there is a Guru, there are Vaishnavs, and there is also a drain. Whether you see the Deity or the drain depends upon you. Those who think about a commode get a commode—those who think about the drain become drain inspectors.
Sincerity and faith are necessary. When this Museum building was built, in 1994-1995, somebody washed Gurudev's brain and he did not talk to me so much—he told me to get out; but when I took him from here to the new building (the present veranda in Nabadwip), he was very happy.
Also when we were making the Govinda Kunda everybody told Gurudev that I was stealing money. Once I was paying dandavat to Gurudev, and he said, "Yes! I understand that he is a thief, but can you say where he keeps the money? Did you see the big building that is being constructed in Bamunpara? I have got the news today. He is not begging, he is not collecting, but he is always serving, and with that money he made a temple in Bamunpara!"
Another time, Gurudev criticised me in front of my friend, who he knew would go and tell me about it, and said that he wanted to throw me out. When that person came and told me, "Gurudev is saying bad things about you." I replied, "OK, no problem. Go away, I do not want to hear that." Later, Gurudev explained, "I was testing you! I was testing how much attachment, how much relation you have with me."
Three years have passed since Gurudev left, but we still cannot understand anything. অহঙ্কারে মত্ত হৈঞা নিতাই-পদ পাসরিয়া অসত্যেরে সত্য করি' মানি, ahankare matta haiya, Nitai-pada pasariya, asatyere satya kori mani, "maddened with pride, forgetting Nitai's feet, I accept untruth as truth"! If you have some deficiency in faith, then slowly, slowly you will change and everything will be removed from you. By the mercy of the Lord we have got this association, we have got Gurudev and service to Gurudev, but it is easy to fall down and leave the service, leave this line...
Actually, I could not speak today, but Krishna, Gurudev are speaking through me. I thought I would not come to the class today, but Gurudev brought me here... I am very sad and pained for Gurudev. When he left Nabadwip, he said, "Guru Maharaj, protect my temple." Now everybody is wondering, "Who will protect the mission?" Gurudev will protect Guru Maharaj's mission! The problem is that not everybody has this kind of faith, and that makes me very sad.
yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasado
I offer my obeisance unto the lotus feet of Sri Guru, praising and meditating upon his glory at the three junctions of the day. By his grace, one gains the Lord's grace. Without his grace, one has no shelter anywhere.
Sri Sri Gurvastakam, 8
গুরুমুখ-পদ্মবাক্য চিত্তেতে করিয়া ঐক্য, guru-mukha-padma-vakya chitete kariya aikya: we must believe that which is coming from Gurudev's lotus mouth. We took initiation, came for the festival and are going back home, but we did not understand anything, did not learn anything... Who is to blame now? "I am the one who is guilty, I should not search for others' fault"—such mood must come... How much can you surrender? How much have you dedicated yourself? How much chastity do you have? How much sincerity do you have? You can easily analyse it yourself—but be always careful.
হরিস্থানে অপরাধে তারে হরিনাম ।
hari-sthane aparadhe tare harinama
If one commits an offence at the feet of Lord Hari, he can be forgiven if he chants the Holy Name. But if one offends you, there is no salvation for him.
I am praying to you all that you do not forget your service to your Guru, to the Vaishnavs, Bhagavan. I am praying to you, I am bowing at your lotus feet: if you serve my Guru, I will serve you my whole life; if you serve my Guru, I will sacrifice my life to serve you. Do you understand?
Do not forget Gurudev. Asusta hoya mor man, my mind is disturbed because slowly, slowly you are going away and jumping into the illusory environment. That is my sadness. Do you know when I suffer? When somebody forgets their own duty, their own service. Gurudev said there are guru-bhogi, guru-tyagi, guru-sevi. Some use their Guru for their own interest, use the temple for their own benefit. That is very sad news.
নিজ সুখ লাগি' পাপে নাহি ডরি
nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dori
I am never afraid to engage in sinful activities for the sake of my own happiness. I am merciless and selfish.
That is why we are suffering, and I am suffering so much because of that.
It will soon be Gurudev's disappearance festival, and I am inviting all the devotees: please do not go after the festival, stay until Gurudev's disappearance festival.
When I am saying something, Gurudev's own words, then I remember everything. Now the position is very hellish. Gurudev gave me this chair, but I do not know why he chose me—there are so many big scholars all over the world. I cannot understand why he chose me. At present I am suffering so much, but I have to tolerate and I am tolerating...
Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
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