"My Nature"

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Kolkata—Worldwide, 27 September 2020, part 2

Has anyone read this part [Chapter 'Devotional Mood (Bhakta-Bhav)' from Guidance 3] before?

Devotee: Guidance 1 and 2 are very easy, but Guidance 3 and 4 are very difficult to understand...

[His Divine Grace laughs.] I have to tell these things because these are Radha-Krishna's pastimes and they think it is a cheap thing. Who can understand it? I have told you that those who are enjoying with the material world cannot understand, cannot realise these things; those who have entered practising life, devotional life, who are practising eternally, who always serve their guru and always understand what is service mood, devotional mood—they can realise it.

I also read sometimes—whenever I get time, I like to read books. This year, Sripad Jayapataka Swami Maharaj from ISKCON sent me Bengali Srimad Bhagavatam set composed by Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaj Srila Prabhupad. I kept the books in Nrisingha Palli, and when I go there I sometimes read those books. These books are very easy to understand because Srila Swami Maharaj's writing is very easy. He composed the English translation at the Radha Damodar Temple before going to abroad, and now they have also made the Bengali copy. When I was in Nrisingha Palli last time, Sripad Jayapataka Maharaj's servitor came to me and said that Sripad Jayapataka Maharaj had sent a full set for me and gave me the books. I read them.

To this day, I still like reading. I have a habit to always read. Whenever some new books come out, I read it. Sometimes, I also read the life history of great sadhus. The other day I was reading Srila Sridhar Maharaj's biography. You know, they cook for me so much tasty food, so much opulent prasadam, and when they serve it to me, I remember Param Gurudev Srila Sridhar Maharaj—when his mother served food to him, she would cry because she would make so many things for her son, Srila Sridhar Maharaj (Ramendra Bhattacharya, at the time), he would not take anything—he would take only some rice with boiled neem leaves. How much he punished his tongue! We always going here and there for jihva-lalasa (for the enjoyment of the tongue), but our Param Gurudev Srila Sridhar Maharaj would take only some rice with boiled neem leaves! I am very surprised to hear it. When prasadam comes to me and there is something bitter on the plate, I always try to avoid it, but Srila Sridhar Maharaj only took that [His Divine Grace chuckles]. Now, whenever I get anything bitter, I remember him... Sometimes, I also take neem begun [eggplant with neem leaves]—Gurudev likes it, so I also take it.

Our Guru-varga are all renounced persons—they give up everything and do bhajan on the bank of the Ganges... Srila Sridhar Maharaj never went out of India, he never even stayed outside Nabadwip so much, but all great personalities of Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur would come to see him and hear his Hari-katha. You know, Sripad Bon Maharaj, a senior sannyasi of Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur, who was a very learned person, also said, "If you want to hear Hari-katha, if you want to hear the Hari-katha that Srila Prabhupad spoke, you should go to Srila Sridhar Maharaj."

This Srila Sridhar Maharaj gave everything to my Gurudev, and whenever Srila Gurudev spoke about anything, whatever he said, sounded very sweet. I have got an opportunity to listen to his Hari-katha... Even his chastisement was also sweet. Who can chastise me now? I have no one now who could chastise me. This is now a pastime, it is in the past—no one chastises me now. There is only one person in this world who could chastise me, and that person is my Guru. When I joined Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, I did not know anything about temple life or anything also, but Gurudev taught me with heart and soul and I am trying to learn that. I am still learning. Actually, I do not want to teach anybody, I want to learn myself more and more. That is my nature. "Sarvada-i sisya thakibo (সর্ব্বদাই শিষ্য থাকিব)"—I will always remain a disciple. That is my will and wish. That is the main thing...

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