(7/13) Sustaining Yourself on Gurudev's Words

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Vyasa Puja of Srila B.S. Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj
Sri Nrisingha Palli, evening class
1 January 2021, part 7, translated from Bengali

Gurudev has given me a lot. He has given me much mercy, that is why I am telling all these things to you also so that you, too, can serve Gurudev and the Lord like that. I was always like a chatak bird in my service to Gurudev (always waiting anxiously, intently for a drop of mercy, for any service). Even when I went to the bathroom, I would keep my mobile phone on a small shelf for soap because I always waited for Gurudev’s call, thinking, ‘When will Gurudev call me? When will there be some news from Gurudev?’

Gurudev explained to me what was my service and what was not my service. He never let me climb to the altar – he said, ‘You must not do puja.’ He told me how to cook, but he told me not to go to the kitchen to cook myself. He told me to never drive a motorcycle and to never take a gun in my hand because I can become hot-headed and injure somebody. He told me, ‘Never get a gun license.’ I always remember what Gurudev told me and follow that. There were times when I told others to get a gun license, but I never got it myself; neither have I driven a motorcycle. I have been following what Gurudev told me to a T.

Gurudev told us many things – he had a great vision and could see very far. His behaviour was always candid, genuine. He always spoke very sweetly. When there was nobody speaking to him, he was very grave and spoke little, but when he started speaking, he spoke very happily and at length. To this day, I feel happy when I am remembering his words. If Gurudev had not given me his mercy, I would have already left a long time ago, but because Gurudev gave his mercy, I am still alive and can sit here in front of you and speak about the Lord. This is my great fortune.

I am a beggar, so please give me these alms: wherever I may go, you must always live following this spiritual line (siddhanta), and please bless me so that I may have devotion to Krishna. On the other hand, I am also telling you: please continue all together. ‘Krsna bala, sange chala, ei matra bhiksa chai (কৃষ্ণ বল, সঙ্গে চল, এই মাত্র ভিক্ষা চাই). I am begging you for one thing only: come with us and chant the Holy Name of Krishna!’ Please stay all together, then we will all be able to get out of this illusory prison and reach the Lord.

We are living now in this prison of the illusory environment, and we keep falling into this wicked, material environment:

আমার জীবন, সদা পাপে রত,
নাহিক পুণ্যের লেশ ।
পরেরে উদ্বেগ, দিয়াছি যে কত,
দিয়াছি জীবেরে ক্লেশ ॥১॥

amara jivana, sada pape rata,
nahika punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachhi ye kata,
diyachhi jivere klesa [1]

‘My life is always engrossed in sin. There is not a trace of piety in it. And I have been giving others so much anxiety and pain.’

নিজ সুখ লাগি’, পাপে নাহি ডরি’,
দয়াহীন স্বার্থপর ।
পর সুখে দুঃখী, সদা মিথ্যাভাষী,
পরদুঃখ সুখকর ॥২॥

nija sukha lagi’, pape nahi dari’,
daya-hina svartha-para
para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi,
para-duhkha sukha-kara [2]

‘I am not afraid to commit sins for my own happiness. I am merciless and selfish. I always lie. I feel unhappy to see others happy, and I feel happy to see others sad.’

অশেষ কামনা, হৃদি মাঝে মোর,
ক্রাধী দম্ভপরায়ণ ।
মদমত্ত সদা, বিষয়ে মোহিত,
হিংসা-গর্ব্ব বিভূষণ ॥৩॥

asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi dambha-parayana
mada-matta sada, visaye mohita,
himsa-garba vibhusana [3]

‘My heart is filled with endless desires. Angry and hypocritical, I am always intoxicated, mad and engrossed in the material world. Pride and envy are my ornaments.’

নিদ্রালস্য-হত, সুকার্য্যে বিরত,
অকার্য্যে উদ্যোগী আমি ।
প্রতিষ্ঠা লাগিয়া, শাঠ্য আচরণ,
লোভহত সদা কামী ॥৪॥

nidralasya hata, sukarye virata,
akarye udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya-acharana,
lobha-hata sada kami [4]

‘Ruined by laziness and sleep, I am averse to doing anything good and eager to do wrong things. I behave crooked desiring prestige. I am ruined by greed and always want something.’

এহেন দুর্জ্জন, সজ্জন-বর্জ্জিত,
অপরাধী নিরন্তর ।
শুভকার্য্যশূন্য, সদানর্থমনা,
নানা দুঃখে জর জর ॥৫॥

e hena durjana, sajjana-varjita,
aparadhi nirantara
subha-karya-sunya, sadanartha-manah,
nana-duhkhe jara jara [5]

‘Such a bad person as I is shunned by good souls – I am a constant offender. I do not do anything good – instead, I am always filled with inauspiciousness. I am shattered by all kinds of miseries.’

বার্দ্ধক্যে এখন, উপায়-বিহীন,
তা’েত দীন অকিঞ্চন ।
ভকতিবিনোদ, প্রভুর চরণে,
করে দুঃখ নিবেদন ॥৬॥

vardhakye ekhana, upaya-vihina,
ta’te dina akinchana
bhakativinoda, prabhura charane,
kare duhkha nivedana [6]

‘Now I am old and helpless. Having thus become poor and materially destitute, Bhaktivinod humbly submits his sorrow at the holy feet of the Lord.’

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

This is my prayer to you all: always practise Krishna consciousness, then you will be all right.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.

[His Divine Grace chants ‘Sri Guru-charana-padma’, ‘Krpa kara Vaisnava Thakura’, ‘Nitai-guna-mani’, ‘Emona durmati’, ‘Gaya Gaura madhur svare’ and then continues the class.]

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Length: 80 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Know and Love the Lord
2) Develop Deepest Dedication
3) At Lord's Home
4) Pure Preacher's Position
5) Clear Vision
6) Clear Identity
7) Sustaining Yourself on Gurudev's Words
8) Internal Purity
9) Kirtan-Yajna
10) Give Up Illusory Luxuries
11) Who Will You Blame?
12) Analysis Is Paralysis
13) Western Idiosyncrasies