(1/7) "I Want to Surrender"

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Kolkata—Worldwide, 31 January 2021, part 1

Jay Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay.
Visva-varenya Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay.
Om Vishnupad Bhagavan Sri Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Goswami Thakur Prabhupad ki jay.
Rupanuga-guru-varga ki jay.
Namacharya Haridas Thakur ki jay.
Vrinda Devi, Tulasi Devi, Sri Bhakti Devi ki jay.
Sri Shyama Kunda, Radha Kunda, Sri Giri Govardhan ki jay.
Sri Mayapur Dham, Sri Nabadwip Dham, Sri Vrindavan, Mathura ki jay.
Sri Purusottam Ksetra ki jay.
Baladev Subhadra Jagannath jiu ki jay.
Akar Math-raj Sri Chaitanya Math ki jay.
Mayapur Yogapith ki jay.
Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math ki jay.
Tadiya sakha math-samuha ki jay.
Sri Mather sevak vrinda, bhakta-vrinda ki jay.
Ananta-koti Vaishnav vrinda ki jay.
Sri Gaudiya Acharya vrinda ki jay.
Tridandi-pad-gan ki jay.
Saparsada Sriman Nityananda Prabhu ki jay.
Saparsada Sriman Mahaprabhu ki jay.
Bhakta-prabara Prahlad Maharaj ki jay.
Suddha bhaktir vighna vinasa-kari Bhagavan Nrisinghadev ki jay.
Sri Sada-Siva Gangadhar, Giriraj Govardhan ki jay.
Harinam sankirtan ki jay.
Samagata Sri Gaura bhakta-vrinda ki jay.
Nitai Gaura premanande Hari bol.

Everything is going on well by the mercy of Gurudev. We are all meeting today this morning; it is a very nice day. I would like to sing a little bit now. Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay. Jay Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay.

Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur writes, ‘Gurudev, you have been so merciful to me – you have given me a place in Godrumdwip.’ I have also left Koladwip, and I am now staying in Nrisingha Palli, Godrumdwip…

গুরুদেব!
বড় কৃপা করি’, গৌড়বন-মাঝে,
গোদ্রুমে দিয়াছ স্থান ।
আজ্ঞা দিল মোরে, এই ব্রজে বসি’,
হরিনাম কর গান ॥

gurudeva!
bada krpa kari’, gauda-vana-majhe,
godrume diyachha sthana
ajna dila more, ei vraje vasi’,
harinama kara gana

‘Gurudev! Bestowing great mercy on me, you have given me a place in Sri Godrumdwip amidst the forests of Gauda. You ordered me: “Reside in this abode that is non-different from Vraja and chant the Lord’s Name.”’

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

‘You have ordered me to stay here in Vraja-dham (Nabadwip is non-different from Sri Vraja-dham, Vrindavan) and chant the Holy Name.’

কিন্তু কবে প্রভো, যোগ্যতা অর্পিবে,
এ দাসেরে দয়া করি’ ।
চিত্ত স্থির হবে, সকল সহিব,
একান্তে ভজিব হরি ॥

kintu kabe prabho, yogyata arpibe,
e dasere daya kari’
chitta sthira habe, sakala sahiba,
ekante bhajiba hari

‘But when, O Master, will you mercifully grant this servant the qualification to do this? When will my heart become steadfast? When will I tolerate everything and serve the Lord exclusively?’

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

But then I ask gurudev: Gurudev, when will you give me the qualification to chant the Holy Name? When will you give me your mercy so that I can chant the Holy Name? It is not possible to chant the Holy Name without the qualification of being humble, tolerant and giving honour to others. It is necessary to have this qualification. When will gurudev give this qualification to me? When will my mind become steady? My mind is always fickle, I cannot concentrate it. When will I be able to give my full attention, my everything to the chanting of the Holy Name? My mind is always fickle, and I cannot tolerate anything. But when I learn to tolerate everything, my mind will become quiet and I will be able to chant the Holy Name…

শৈশব-যৌবনে, জড়সুখ-সঙ্গে,
অভ্যাস হইল মন্দ ।
নিজকর্ম্ম-দোষে, এ দেহ হইল,
ভজনের প্রতিবন্ধ ॥

saisava-yauvane, jada-sukha-sange,
abhyasa haila manda
nija-karma-dose, e deha haila,
bhajanera pratibandha

‘Having enjoyed in my childhood and youth, I have developed bad habits. Because of my previous actions, this body has now become an obstacle to practising spiritual life.’

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

In my childhood and youth, I acquired so many bad habits. When some material happiness comes to us, we enjoy it, and this is how we develop very bad habits. It is all my fault! It is my fault that I have got this body! I enjoyed material happiness and developed bad qualities at an early age, and now this body has become an obstacle to worshipping the Lord, to chanting the Holy Name and practising spiritual life…

বার্দ্ধক্যে এখন, পঞ্চরোগে হত,
কেমনে ভজিব বল’ ।
কাঁদিয়া কাঁদিয়া, তোমার চরণে,
পড়িয়াছি সুবিহ্বল ॥

vardhakye ekhana, pancha-roge hata,
kemane bhajiba bala’
kandiya kandiya, tomara charane,
padiyachhi suvihvala

‘I am now old and afflicted by five-fold material diseases. Tell me, how shall I serve? Crying incessantly, I have fallen at your feet, utterly bewildered.’

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

Now I have become old, and I am suffering from five diseases (pancha-roga). These are not material diseases, these are spiritual diseases. There are many material diseases in this world, such as cancer, stomach problems, and so on, but there are five spiritual diseases – avidya (ignorance), asmita (false identification), raga (misdirected love), dvesa (aversion to anything that is against my enjoyment) and abhinivesa (being unable to give up unfavourable habits).

(1) Avidya means ignorance. We think that we are these bodies, and we do not know that we are jiva souls. (2) Asmita means too much attachment to our material bodies – to our family lives, to our wives, husbands, fathers, mothers and other material objects. (3) Raga means too much attachment to that which is favourable to our bodies. For example, you think, ‘Oh, I need so many things for my body!’ (4) Dvesa-buddhi means you do not like to always accept that which is favourable to devotion. (5) Instead, we are always attached to that which is favourable to our bodies (abhinives). These are the five diseases that we are always attacked by.

Now I am crying, ‘Prabhu! I am falling down at your lotus feet! I want to surrender to you because without you I have no other way. You are my only hope! Only you can rescue me from this situation!’ We always pray to gurudev like this. Jay.

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Length: 50 min
Language: English

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) "I Want to Surrender"
2) Our Plight and Plea
3) Wealth of Nanda Maharaj's Yard
4) Pure Sambandha
5) Blessing In Disguise
6) Unconditional Life
7) Jewel of Sincerity