The 'Crazy', the Wicked, the Restless
His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
There was once a sahajiya Guru. He could not teach others anything good, he did not know anything—he knew nothing about Srimad Bhagavatam or Chaitanya-charitamrita. And he used to always cheat his disciples.
Every day he would go house to house to collect money to maintain his family (he had a wife and many children, among whom there was only one good son), but once he thought, "Every day I go house to house, but in this area there is this rich king... If I make him my disciple, then I will not have to go house to house any more, I will get money from him and it will be enough to maintain the whole family..." Eventually, he made that king his disciple, and now he all the time went to the king's house to take some money from him. This is how he maintained his family.
One day, the king told his Guru, "I have so much money, I have everything, but I am not getting any peace... I took initiation from you five years ago, and for five years you have been taking money from me, but you are not giving me any peace..." Gurudev had to make up a story, "All right, give me some money and I will make a big fire sacrifice."
The king gave him some money and the Guru made a fire sacrifice. Six months later, the king again said to him, "O Gurudev, I am still not getting any peace..." Gurudev said, "All right, maybe something went wrong during the sacrifice. We must make another one. Give me some money and arrange for some ghee, yoghurt, butter, rice, etc." They made another big fire sacrifice.
Two months passed. The king said to his Gurudev, "I am still not getting any peace! If you cannot give me peace, I will cut your head! I am giving you seven days—if you cannot give me peace, I will have to kill you." Gurudev became afraid and went back to his house.
He was sitting at home, thinking, "What will become of me in seven days?" Seeing him deep in thought, his wife asked, "What are you thinking about?" He explained what had happened and said in the end, "Why did I have to make that rich man my disciple? Now I have to die in seven days..."
Now, that Gurudev had one good son. The son actually did not stay at the house—he went to the forest to study Srimad Bhagavatam from one good Guru, and when the food was ready, he would return home. He spent most of the time outside.
It was the meal time, so the son came home.
"You will not get any food," said his mother to him. "You father is going to die in seven days, and you are not doing any job—how will you maintain the family?"
"What has happened?" asked the boy.
"Your father cannot give peace to the king..."
"OK, I will give peace to the king!"
"You are a crazy boy! How will you give peace to the king? You cannot go there!"
"No, I must go there. I must give peace to the king," said the son and immediately went to the king's house.
When the king saw his Guru's son, he received him with some honour, and then asked him,
"Why have you come?"
"I have come for you. I want to give you some peace."
"Five-six years have passed and your father has not been able to do that, and you say you can?"
"Yes, I can."
"What do you need? What items are necessary? Is another fire sacrifice necessary?"
"No, nothing is necessary. I only need two pieces of rope, each 8-10 feet long, and also I need my father."
The king sent his servant to bring his Guru. Now there were three men—the son, the father (the king's Guru), and the king. The son said to the king and his father, "All right, now everything is ready, let us go to the shore of the sea." The king and the Guru were suspicious, "That boy is crazy... what if he ties us with the rope and throws us into the sea?..." Anyhow, they went with the boy.
When they came to the shore, the son first tied his father with one piece of the rope and then tied the king with the other piece of the rope. After that he asked his father,
"O father, open the king's rope!"
"O crazy! You have tied me—how will I open his rope?!"
Then the son turned to the king and said,
"O King, can you see now? He is your Guru, but he is bound in illusion. Kama (lust), krodha (anger), lobha (greed), moha (illusion), etc.—he is bound by all this, how will he give you peace? How can he untie you if he is tied himself?
"Every day I study Bhagavatam from one Guru," continued the boy, "he is the best Guru. Come with me." He then said to his father, "Father, you told me once, 'If you are not a disciple, how can you be a Guru?' First you must go to a good Guru, study Bhagavatam, then you can make disciples."
The boy's father and the king both went with him to his Guru, and they both got peace...
There are many bogus Gurus like this in India, but fortunately we do not have to go here and there, we do not have to search—we have already got a good Guru, so we have no problem...
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