(4/4) "My Pride, My Joy, and My Hope"

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Speaking online to devotees worldwide
Nrisingha Palli, 1 January 2021, part 4

Krishna Sundari Didi (from Australia) made a special sweet rice for this festival, and all the sadhus said, ‘We have never tasted this kind of sweet rice in our Gaudiya Maths!’ I told them, ‘Gurudev himself has come and cooked it!’ Sudevi Didi also made fried rice (with capsicum, beans, etc. – fried rice is a dished called veg pulao; it is not puspanna) and chilli paneer; it was also special for them. Devotees made very nice preparations. They also made beguni (aubergine) fried in ghee, kochu sak (spinach) and other preparations. I did not let them use any potato this festival [most likely in remembrance of Srila Gurudev showing diabetes pastimes and out of affectionate care for the sadhus, who could also be abstaining from potato – ed.], so there was no potato cooked today at noon, and everybody was happy. Everything was cooked very nicely.

I observed how they served prasadam to all the Vaishnavs, and I saw that all groups of devotees did it very nicely. Madhumangal Prabhu came with thirteen young boys from Jharkhand, and they helped very much. I am very happy with them. They are very helpful. Actually, I have got this group, and I am always worry-free – I have no headache because I do not have to think about distributing prasadam and washing the pots, I know that they will do it. They serve prasadam to all the Vaishnavs very nicely. There was also another group of devotees downstairs, and many ladies also helped distribute prasadam to everybody.

When we were in Nabadwip, many outsiders and non-devotees (not initiated people) used to come at festivals, but I am very glad and very happy that all the initiated devotees come here. Even when I speak Hari-katha, if the audience’s mood wanders in another direction, if the audience does not like Hari-katha, then some disturbance comes, people become distracted and absent-minded, but this year mostly devotees came, so there were no such problems. In Nabadwip, many outsiders would also come and start fighting for prasad, but it was not like that here. There was no fighting, no crowds – devotees distributed prasad in two–three places, and everyone came one by one and took prasad happily. It was very nice.

[Somebody asks about coronavirus.] What corona? You are sitting in your room, that is why you are thinking about corona too much, but if you come outside, there is no corona. You must remove Coronasur [the demon Corona] from your heads and brains. You know, all the political parties gather huge meetings – they dance and drink whiskey in parks, and they have no rules and regulations. But if some sadhu is making a programme, they come up with all sorts of rules and regulations! What is this? I was ready to face them today if they had come to disturb us.

I am always on the go – I always go to one place, another place, here and there. I do not stay in one place, even during the lockdown. Sometimes, I may stay in one place for four–five days, sometimes for two or three days, but other than that, I always go door to door, knocking at everyone’s doors – if somebody kicks me out, if somebody tells me not to come, I will come knocking at their house ten time more. This is my situation.

Devotee: Like Nityananda Prabhu!

Not like Nityananda Prabhu. Nityananda is Nityananda! I cannot think about myself even as His foot dust. If I could get His foot dust, it is such a great attainment!

On the one hand, we are actually unfortunate because our minds are always very fickle, very unsteady, and we always think about bad things – if we cannot think good about everybody, then Krishna will not think good about us. On the other hand, even though we always think bad about others, our guru and Vaishnavs are still very merciful because they give us ‘amanda-daya kripa’ (অমন্দ-দয়া কৃপা). ‘Manda’ means ‘bad’, and ‘a-manda’ means ‘good’ (‘devoid of anything bad’): they always give us pure mercy. So, it is my fortune that Gurudev has kept me at his lotus feet. That is my only hope (ei mora chitte bharasa, এই মর চিত্তে ভরসা); that is the main thing in my life.

Srila Prabhupad said, ‘Prana achhe yara, sei hetu prachara (প্রাণ আছে যার সেই হেতু প্রচার) – you have life in the body, you are alive, therefore you must preach.’ I do not know how many days I will be alive, but I want to preach until my death – I want to go everywhere and approach everyone, I do not want to stop my preaching.

Anyhow, I do not want to take more of your time today. I only want to say two–three more words in conclusion. Gurudev is always very proud of you. He always said very happily, ‘By the mercy of Srila Guru Maharaj (Srila B.R. Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj), I have got so many good souls as my friends and companions. It is unbelievable that Srila Guru Maharaj has kept all charge for the foreign devotees in my hand – I do not know English, I do not know their culture, but Srila Sridhar Maharaj gave all charge to me, and this is how I have got the association of so many devotees, such as Srila Janardan Maharaj, Srila Ashram Maharaj, Sripad Yudhamanyu Prabhu, Sripad Srutasrava Prabhu (known as Sripad Vaishnav Maharaj later), Srila Avadhut Maharaj, Srila Trivikram Maharaj in Brazil, and many other foreign devotees. I do not worry about how Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math will run because when Srila Guru Maharaj has given me such good souls, I know that Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math will run automatically, and preaching will continue in the future.’ Srila Gurudev is very proud of you all. He also always said, ‘I am a village boy, I have no qualities – I did not even go to school – but my Guru Maharaj gave me this position, and when I have got such good souls as you all, who have come to me and serve me as your guru, I must say that I am a very fortunate soul.’

So, I feel very happy today. I do not want to take more of your time now. We can discuss Srila Gurudev’s festival, as well as Srila Prabhupad’s glorification and Gurudev’s glorification, another time, during our next online Sunday programme, it will be good for everybody. Please forgive my offence. I have told you that I am a beggar, but I do not come to beg you for money – I only beg you for one thing: please give me your mercy so that I can serve my Gurudev and his Mission like this until my death. This is all I am begging you all for.

&nsp;

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Jay Srila Bhakti Pavan Janardan Maharaj ki jay.
Jay Srila Bhakti Kusum Ashram Maharaj ki jay.
Jay Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj’s holy appearance day festival maha-mahotsav ki jay.
Harinam sankirtan ki jay.

&nsp;

…Some of our Bengali godbrothers do not follow Gurudev properly. When Gurudev became sick, he left Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math and stayed in Dum Dum Park. He was very sad. One day, he called me to come to Kolkata. He was lying down, and I came and sat beside his bed. At that time, he told me, ‘Maharaj, you are bringing so many people from villages, and I have initiated them, but can you tell me how many of them have actually become disciples?’ I am also thinking that Indian devotees only think, ‘Hari bol! Hari bol!’– they only say, ‘Hari bol! Hari bol! Doyal Nitai!’ and dance – but it is the foreign devotees who can show us how many per cent of those who have taken initiation have actually become disciples because foreign devotees have never betrayed me – they follow Gurudev’s word 100%. I am very proud of you all. I am very happy that Gurudev has kept such ‘fruits’ in my hand, and I can happily ‘take’ them (have their association).

My dandavat to everyone. Please forgive my offence.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Nitai Gaura premanande Hari bol.

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Length: 28 min
Language: English

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Grand and Joyous Festival
2) Protecting Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math
3) Unblemished Sacrifice
4) "My Pride, My Joy and My Hope"