(9/18) Internal Hypocrisy

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Vyasa-Puja Adhivas, Tarakeswar,
Evening, 28 September 2019, part 9
Translated from Bengali

We have been singing kirtans just now. How beautiful they are! 'Nahi magi deha-sukha, vidya, dhana, jana (নাহি মাগি দেহ-সুখ, বিদ্যা, ধন, জন). I do not pray for bodily pleasure, learning, wealth, or any followers or friends.' We sing this, but are we actually telling the truth? How many of us really feel this? 'I do not want bodily happiness, I do not want knowledge, I do not want wealth and money, I do not want any friends, family or followers' – are we really telling the truth? We are not. We are lying... Do you know anybody who really does not want bodily happiness? We all want material happiness (bodily happiness): we want to have wives, sons, daughters, husbands, we want a nice home, we want knowledge, money, and so on. But so many people sing with their mouths (lip-deep), 'I do not want any material happiness, knowledge or followers! I do not want heaven or liberation! I do not want any money, women or fame!'

নাহি মাগি দেহ-সুখ, বিদ্যা, ধন, জন ॥
নাহি মাগি স্বর্গ, আর মোক্ষ নাহি মাগি ।
না করি প্রার্থনা কোন বিভূতির লাগি’ ॥

nahi magi deha-sukha, vidya, dhana, jana
nahi magi svarga ara moksa nahi magi
na kari prarthana kona vibhutira lagi

'I do not pray for bodily pleasure, learning, wealth, or followers. I do not pray for heaven, I do not pray for liberation, and I do not pray for any supernatural powers.'

(Gitavali, Sri Siksastakam Giti, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

Vaishnavs always feel that they are poor (dina) and bereft (hina). Do you understand the meaning of 'being humbler than a blade of grass'? Do you know what humility (sunichena) is? It means that if somebody insults you or treats you bad, you must give them honour in return. Can you do that? How many of you can do that? The reality is that if somebody attacks or hits you, you will get angry and try to hit them back. My guru never taught me to be like that, and I also never tell my disciples to be like that. Rather, we must always depend on the Lord – we must give up everything to Him and rely on Him. He will judge and decide everything. Our mood must be, 'O Lord, do whatever You like. I am a servant, a slave of Your holy feet.' Always remember this. You must not worry about anything.

When I was giving class last ekadasi, I told you that when ekadasi comes, we are fasting, but inside we are always thinking, 'Oh, when is it going to be dvadasi? When will I be able to eat nicely? I am hungry!' When dvadasi comes, you take a handful of food and feel satisfied and happy. If this is how you practise spiritual life – if you have no inclination to practise – you will gradually lose everything. I have told you that one does not become a disciple just by taking a mantra from a guru. There are many kinds of gurus in this world, but the number of genuine disciples is very small. You may wonder, 'What is this? What are you saying?' But these are Srila Prabhupad's words! You can find many gurus in this world, but you will not find a disciple in this world.

A disciple is not somebody who offers flowers at their guru's feet, who says, 'Jay Gurudev!' or who recites prayers to their gurudev. No. There must be a relationship. Disciples must always think, 'What does my guru need? What does he want? What service did he tell me to do? What service does he want to do through me?' It can be any service, but if gurudev has told them to do it, it is their duty to do it – they must do it with heart and soul. Disciples' only intent is to fulfil their guru's desire, to be able to please their guru – to give happiness, not anxiety or a headache, to their guru. Those who have this mood and live in this way can be called disciples. It is necessary to attain the grace of the guru (guru-prasannata, গুরু-প্রসন্নতা): 'grace' means pleasing the guru, making him feel happy and satisfied.

I spoke much about guru-tattva yesterday, and I will speak about it again today. Let us chant a few kirtans now, and after that I will speak again. I have come here to tell you about the glory of the guru. I have not come to take anybody's worship (puja) – I have come to worship my guru. I have told you that you can find many gurus in this world who will happily take obeisances (pranams) and donations (pranamis), but genuine, bona fide gurus never accept obeisances or donations from anybody. Even when you come to their feet and pay obeisance to them, they do not take your obeisances – they offer your obeisances to their guru. And when you give them some donation, they do not spend it on themselves – they use whatever you give them in the service to the Lord.

I have been reading the whole day yesterday and today and have made some bookmarks to mark the places that I want to read to you. I cannot stay in one place all the time, I have to visit different places, so I do not always get a chance to read. But this time I had some time, and as I was reading, I marked some things I want to tell you. All right, let us chant kirtan now. I will continue after that.

[His Divine Grace chants the evening kirtans.]

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Length: 83 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Disciple's Dependence
2) How Does Devotion Come?
3) Indispensability of Guru's Mercy
4) Stop Threshing the Husk
5) Disciples' Hypocrisy
6) Strong Desires, Wrong Desires
7) Identifying Yourself with Kirtan
8) Patience Is a Virtue
9) Internal Hypocrisy
10) Unhappy Mind
11) Kirtan Is Not a Show
12) Cook to Perfection
13) Install Gurudev in Your Heart
14) Submission without Resistance
15) Service Is Not a Rite
16) Vaishnavs' Ornaments vs Demons' Ornaments
17) Vaikuntha Vani
18) Absolute Self-Submission