(5/5) Understanding Gurudev

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Baladev Purnima
Kolkata-Worldwide, 3 August 2020, part 5

...I am in Dum Dum Park now. I have been very busy today, I was out the whole day from the morning and came back at 2–2.30 p.m. I am going out again tomorrow, too, and Wednesday is lockdown, so I will stay in. We are spending so many days in, and Krishna is giving us an opportunity to see everybody and meet together.

One time, Gurudev told me, 'You are always going to the crops field, always making buildings, but do you sometimes get time to read books?' I asked Gurudev, 'What books should I read?' and he told me, 'First read Gaudiya Kantha-hara.' I immediately sent someone to Mayapur to buy this book from Chaitanya Math. Gurudev told me, 'If you can memorise this whole book, you will become a 70% preacher.' [His Divine Grace chuckles] After that, Gurudev allowed me to read Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita during the evening class. At that time, I only read it, but I did not understand so much. I only read and read. Sometimes, I understood something, and sometimes I did not.

Gurudev always told me:

কৃষ্ণ যদি ছুটে ভক্তে ভুক্তি মুক্তি দিয়া ।
কভু ভক্তি না দেন রাখেন লুকাইয়া ॥

krsna yadi chhute bhakte bhukti mukti diya
kabhu prema-bhakti na dena rakhena lukaiya

'If devotees aspire for enjoyment or liberation, Krishna hides the knowledge about pure devotion from them and dismisses them, giving them enjoyment or liberation.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 1.8.18)

If you ask the Lord, 'Give me enjoyment' or 'Give me some kind of liberation,' Krishna will give it to you, He will make you happy, but He will hide devotion from you. Gurudev's explanation of this verse was very nice. I also remember him explaining the 'rasa-raja maha-bhava chaitanya svarupa': the pastime when Mahaprabhu showed His rasa-raja maha-bhava form to Raya Ramananda on the bank of the Godavari in Kovvur.

পহিলে দেখিলুঁ তোমার সন্ন্যাসি-স্বরূপ ।
এবে তোমা দেখি মুঞি শ্যাম-গোপরূপ ॥

pahile dekhilun tomara sannyasi-svarupa
ebe toma dekhi muni syama-gopa-rupa

"Ramananda Raya then told Lord Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, 'At first I saw You appear like a sannyasi, but now I am seeing You as Shyamasundara, the cowherd boy.'"

তোমার সম্মুখে দেখি কাঞ্চন-পঞ্চালিকা ।
তাঁর গৌরকান্ত্যে তোমার সর্ব্ব অঙ্গ ঢাকা ॥

tomara sammukhe dekhi kanchana-panchalika
tanra gaura-kantye tomara sarva anga dhaka

"'I now see You appearing like a golden doll, and Your entire body appears covered by a golden luster.'"

তাহাতে প্রকট দেখি স-বংশী বদন ।
নানা-ভাবে চঞ্চল তাহে কমল-নয়ন ॥

tahate prakata dekhi sa-vamsi vadana
nana-bhave chanchala tahe kamala-nayana

"I see that You are holding a flute to Your mouth, and Your lotus eyes are moving very restlessly due to various ecstasies.

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 2.8.267-269)

I remember Gurudev always recited these verses. Actually, Gurudev came to this mission when he was seventeen years old, a very young boy, so he could memorise everything. But when I came, I passed all my time cultivating the land and making buildings. I did not get time to read so much, but I think that whatever I have learned from Gurudev, by the mercy of Gurudev, is sufficient. I do not need to know more than that.

Devotee: Dandavat, Maharaj.

Dandavat, *** Maharaj. Please forgive my offence.

Devotee: No, no, Maharaj. You are kind, and you still accept me, that is a miracle.

Why will I not accept you? When Gurudev has accepted you, why will I reject you? I have no power to reject you. Gurudev has already accepted you and given you shelter, that is very important to me. When Gurudev gives somebody shelter, I must serve them. It is my duty.

Question: Srila Govinda Maharaj said that Nityananda Prabhu is the controller of the entire sampradaya. On the other hand, it is also said that it is very difficult to understand Nityananda Prabhu because He is unpredictable and it is very difficult to understand what His real intention in. For example, sometimes Srila Vrindavan Das Thakur was chastised, but he received the highest mercy. On the other hand, Gurudev may sometimes praise somebody, but that person is actually being cheated. So, how can a disciple can get the real, deepest mercy of Gurudev and Nityananda Prabhu?

It depends on the practitioner. For example, Gurudev told me that one time, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu praised Srila Sanatana Goswami, but Srila Jagadananda Pandit did not like it because he was a little jealous of Sanatan. One time also, Gurudev told his nearmost and dearmost person many bad things about me, and that person came to me and said, 'Oh, your guru does not love you. He does not like you!' But I could understand that it was Gurudev's play, that Gurudev had not said those things from his heart.

So, yes, it is very difficult to understand the guru, and it is very difficult to understand Nityananda Prabhu. It is very difficult. I remember when Gurudev was making Srila Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj's vigraha, he asked Srila Janardan Maharaj what he thought of the vigraha that was being made. Srila Janardan Maharaj replied, 'Who can understand Srila Guru Maharaj? I do not have eyes to see Srila Guru Maharaj!' Gurudev grabbed Srila Janardan Maharaj's feet, saying, 'Yes, Maharaj! You are right! Who can understand Guru Maharaj?!' So, yes, who can understand Gurudev? It is very difficult. Only very few persons can understand Gurudev or Nityananda Prabhu.

On the other hand, Gurudev is always merciful, he always gives love and affection to everybody, but not everybody can accept it. Srila Sridhar Maharaj's sister, Rama Devi, asked Gurudev, 'Guru Maharaj has made you the successor, but you have not declared anybody as your successor.' Gurudev replied to her, 'Yes, I know, but I cannot keep water in a pot with holes. I am trying to find somebody suitable, and I am thinking who can carry this Chaitanya Saraswat Math's flag, but I cannot choose anybody yet.' Gurudev told us about it many times. So, yes, it is very difficult to understand Gurudev.

Gurudev told me many things... I can remember one more thing he told me. He said that somebody can have one leg already in Vaikuntha and one leg still outside, but because of only one single fault, that leg can come out of Vaikuntha. At the same time, if somebody is a fortunate soul, their leg can be also in Vaikuntha and one leg outside, but the outside leg can enter Vaikuntha.

All right. It was very nice to see you all. I would like to finish now. I am giving my full obeisance to everyone.

Jay Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay
Visva-varenya Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay
Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay
Om Vishnupad Bhagavan Sri Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Goswami Thakur Prabhupad ki jay
Rupanuga-guru-varga ki jay
Jay Sri Baladev Prabhur avirbhav-tithi-bara maha-mahotsav ki jay
All the assembled devotees ki jay
All the worldwide devotees ki jay
Srila Bhakti Pavan Janardan Maharaj ki jay
Srila Bhakti Kusum Ashram Maharaj ki jay
Srila Bhakti Vijay Trivikram Maharaj ki jay
Sripad Bhakti Ujjval Sajjan Maharaj ki jay
Sripad Bhakti Nandan Sadhu Maharaj ki jay
Samagata Sri Gaura bhakta-vrinda ki jay
Harinam sankirtan ki jay
All the worldwide devotees ki jay
Nitai Gaura premanande Hari bol

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READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Appearance of Lord Baladev
2) Understanding Baladev's Glory
3) Sticking with Pure Life
4) Spiritual Balance and Maturity
5) Understanding Gurudev